Radical Acceptance

“Radical Acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our lives as it is” – Tara Burch

Happy Wednesday, Accidental Readers. I missed posting last week because I was not in the best frame of mind. It is hard to be positive when you are coming from a fearful place. I try my hardest not to wallow in the fear but sometimes it is hard to get out of and if I’m being honest, there were a few days where I changed from my night pajamas to my day pajamas and binge watched TV.

I write often about two subjects: fear and acceptance. I’ve often shared my fear about getting sick. As the numbers climb in Massachusetts and as I go out and see everyone with masks and gloves, I panic. I take my temperature more times then I care to admit, and even though it has not been proven I hold my breath for 10 seconds every day to make sure my lungs are working. Being alone in the house with these crazy thoughts can get to you.

Molly told me about something she had heard from a friend called “Radical Acceptance.” Radical acceptance is finding acceptance and some sort of peace with your situation, no matter how terrible. “This absolutely sucks, and I am upset, and that is okay. That is just how it is right now.”

The virus is here. It is not going anywhere anytime soon. We have to accept that we are sheltering safely at home, that going to the grocery store is an endeavor, our kids are home and days of meeting friends for coffee or dinner are on hold. We accept the situation for all of its hardships.

We can do the right things. Wash our hands, practice social distancing, wear a mask when going outside, listen to the experts. These are things WE are in control of. We can make sure to get outside, if only for a short period of time. Enjoy the sunshine and take advantage of a beautiful day. We can reach out to friends and family. Honestly, I have spoken to my family more this past month than I have this past year. We can eat together as a family and enjoy doing things together. Molly is graduating high school this year and leaving the nest, so I am cherishing our rides and walks together and our sad (mine) attempts at music videos and singing together. My mother had a saying she use to say when we worked together many moons ago, “these are the times we will cherish”. When I’m overwhelmed by fear, I have to grab on to that. Soon (hopefully) we will all be back to our crazy busy schedules and I will look back and say, “remember when we would take daily car rides and sing with the windows open?”

All we can do is try our best. Some days our best is cleaning the house, organizing the entire basement and going for a walk. Other days, it is staying in bed and changing your pajamas around seven pm. And that is enough.

“Accept – then Act” – Eckhart Tolle