Decide

We don’t get much say on how or when, but we do get to decide how we are gonna live. So do it, decide. Is this the life you want to live? – Meredith Grey (Grey’s Anatomy)

I’ve “decided” to stop apologizing for my late blogs. As we have now been quarantined for 67 days now (yes, 67!), my days are all messed up and blending into each other. So, late blogs may be the norm for now.

I am a creature of habit. I’m not a fan of change.

I’ve made a lot of leaps of faith in my life. Not one of those leaps have been done voluntarily– I’ve had to be pushed until I had no other alternative. I would rather stay in a not-so-great situation than make a change.

I’ve talked about our move from Florida to Boston numerous times. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I had the hives and antidepressants to prove it. On a wing and a prayer, we left all of our family and friends to move to a place I had never been, looking to make a better life for us and our children. Bumpy as it may have been, it was the best thing we ever did. I love the town we live in and we have been blessed with the most amazing friends and community. In retrospect, we should have rethought moving from sunny warm Florida to Boston in the middle of the a snowstorm but otherwise, best decision ever.

I absolutely hated the mortgage business. My mom and I owned a mortgage company in South Florida. We owned it for close to twenty years, and I complained for twenty years straight. I loved working with my mom and I was so blessed to be able to have lots of flexibility and make a good living. However, I was unhappy.

When we moved up here, I ended up working at a bank in the mortgage department. I was blessed to get that job at a time that the real estate market was not at its best. Again, I loved the bank, loved the people, but hated the job. It literally took heart surgery for me to decide to make a change. Even though it was the only thing I knew how to do, I made a change.

There are two things I love, coffee and books. My ideal job would be working in a coffee shop selling books. I got the next best thing, I work in a middle school library with the most amazing group of people and kids. No, we don’t sell coffee, but there is a coffee pot and that is good enough for me.

Now, ten years later, my town is my home. I’ve been at a job I truly love for over eight years. One “baby” is getting married and another is leaving for college. I find myself at another crossroad. What am I going to do with this next chapter of my life? What am I going to decide to? What chances am I going to take now? I’m not so sure, there is no clear answer. What I do know is that I don’t want to play it safe, I’m ready to take that leap. Where I will end up no one knows, but the best thing is that the decision is mine to make.

Don’t be afraid to start over. This time you’re not starting from scratch. You’re starting from experience. – Notsalmon.com