Telling someone to mind your own business has such a negative connotation, but in my old age, I’m realizing that it is more about setting boundaries than being negative. Telling someone to mind their own business is not to be harsh but just a gentle reminder to stay in your lane.
I’ve been dealing with this issue more and more and I am not dealing with it just personally but also learning where my place is with other people. Are they asking me for my opinion or advice? Are they looking for me to just be supportive and listen? There is nothing wrong with asking someone. If someone comes to you complaining or sharing an issue, ask them; “are you asking for my opinion or my support?”
Minding your own business means that you are respecting someone else’s privacy. I have recently had to cut people out of my life for this exact reason. There is one thing to be concerned for someone because you love them and truly want them to know you support them. It is a totally different thing to feel like it is ok to interject your opinion without being asked and judging someone about their choices, feelings, or actions.
I can’t speak for any of you, but I can tell you I have enough dealing with myself. I am struggling to sweep my side of the street, I don’t have the energy to clean someone else’s side.
Minding your own business, at its heart, is focusing on what you can control and letting go of what you can’t. It is taking responsibility for your own thoughts and actions, and letting other people take responsibility for their own thoughts and actions.
So often we try to control other people, control the world around us, and basically control everything and everyone but ourselves. I have two daughters and I struggle sometimes knowing my place. We have a good friend who recently told us about a kind way she tells her mom to step back. When her Mom steps over the line, she texts her back with a little rose. When the rose is up, the topic is off-limits. My daughters and I have started using this. When I start with the questions and I get a little rose back, I know I need to back down.
When I go to offer my opinion to others, I ask myself the following questions:
- Did they ask for my opinion or a suggestion?
- Am I being Judging?
- Am I Being Critical ?
Ask yourself whether your thoughts and feelings are true, useful, and important, or whether they’re just noise.
For most of us, minding our own business does not come naturally. This is a practice, like everything else in conscious living. Practice observing your own behavior and keep yourself aware if you are minding your own business and if you are not, bring your attention back to your own lane.
As we practice this more, we will take more ownership of our own life, thoughts, and decisions, and grow in acceptance for the people around us.
Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said now? Does it need to be said by me?
Accidental Harmony 