Do you ever hear someone say something and it hits you so hard that you can’t stop thinking about it? I follow this amazing content creator @bookshelfbitch on Instagram and Tiktok. She recently was going to a Broadway show and wore this beautiful dress that she would have never worn a few years back because she was self-conscious about her looks and wanted to be “hidden” in public. I totally felt that.
There is a good twenty-year span where I had no pictures of myself. Any pictures I took of myself, I took hiding behind someone else. I would purposely stand behind my children so that people could not see what my body looked like. I was consumed with hiding in the background, telling myself I’d take pictures after I’d lost those 20 lbs. As a result, there is a large span of my life that I am in no pictures. I was so concerned about how I looked that in my mind if there were no pictures of me then no one might see me as overweight. I was body-shaming myself. People who knew and loved me did not care how I looked, they saw me for who I was as a person. I could not see myself that way.
Body positivity is having a surge. I have heard many people criticize this. Kanye West recently was slammed by Lizzo after stating that her “promoting obesity is demonic.” So forgetting the fact that no one should be criticizing our Queen Lizzo, she is not out promoting obesity. What she is saying is that we should be proud and love ourselves no matter what we look at. Regardless of what our body looks like, what is important is how we view ourselves and that we love ourselves no matter what we look like. I promise you that no matter how perfect someone appears, there is something they don’t like about themselves. We need to celebrate and love ourselves no matter what we look like.
I remember when I had my first heart surgery, I talked with my husband about what my wishes were if somehow I did not survive my surgery. I told him I wanted a celebration of life and I wanted no one wearing black. My whole life up until the last few years has been in black. As we know, black is very slimming. God forbid I wear stripes or patterns or bright colors to bring attention to myself, better to just hide in the background. The crazy thing is that I lived in Florida where the average temperature was 90 degrees. There I was wearing long black pants, sweating like a pig making me believe I wasn’t who I was when really, no one cared but me.
The most important relationship we have in our lives is with ourselves. We would never talk to others the way we talk to ourselves. Change your inner dialogue with yourself and remind yourself daily how wonderful you are. Fake it until you make it, eventually, you will believe it.
So blast that Lizzo song on the radio, surround yourself with positive people, and realize that God made you exactly as you should be.
“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you” -Rupi Kaur
Accidental Harmony 