Breadcrumbing………………

“When someone breadcrumbs you, they string you along by feigning interest in you — whether as a romantic partner, future employee or close friend. They’ll drop small crumbs of attention in the form of an email, date idea or social media interaction without committing to you or your plans. This tantalizing trail keeps you hot on the heels of the breadcrumber, even though they have no intention of maintaining a real relationship with you. In other words, a breadcrumber is all talk, no action.” – Kayla Wratten

Working at a high school you hear things you have never heard before. Listening to a couple of teenage girls talking, I heard one of them complaining about someone and the other girl talking about allowing them to breadcrumb them. Having never heard that expression before, I had to immediately look it up. I realized I have allowed people to breadcrumb me my entire life. I am the poster child of a person who allows people to breadcrumb her.

Due to my insecurity and lack of self-esteem, I accept the breadcrumbs people are willing to share with me, hoping they will give me more and like me. Sadly, that rarely happens.

This does not only happen in relationships but also with friendships, jobs, etc.. It is that never ending hope that eventually they will see your worth and give you the respect you so rightly deserve.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a lot stronger now than I was in my youth and I have gotten much better at knowing my worth and not allowing people to mistreat me. Even so, there are still situations that I continue to hope will change. And because of that hope, I have been shot down and disappointed, only to get up and look for that little glimmer of hope once again.

Trying to break the chain of accepting breadcrumbs is not easy. It takes strength and for me, sometimes I doubt the strength I have.

Here are some tips to break that chain:

• Be direct with what you want and what you are looking for out of the relationship or situation.
• Remember who you are and what you deserve. Do not accept less!
• Don’t ignore red flags (I am totally guilty of this one). If a red flag pops up, confront and deal with it. Do not hide or ignore it.
• Decide if this relationship or situation is worth it. Are you getting what you want out of it.

Being aware of being breadcrumbing is half the battle. Looking at a situation with completely open eyes allows us to look at our next plan of action and decide what we want to allow into our lives You can only be breadcrumbed if you allow it.