W.A.I.T……………..

I recently heard this expression at an Al Anon meeting. Having been in Al Anon on and off for over twenty years, I was surprised this was the first time I heard it. It stands for Why am I talking.

Rather than automatically giving your response in any conversation, pause and actively tell yourself to W.A.I.T. In other words, stop, think and then act. I will be honest, I fail horribly with this. I cannot tell you how often I have opened my mouth or opened a can of worms and then regretted the words the second they came out. I am guilty of this as recently as today.

There are a few ways to avoid this happening

• Pause – don’t chime in immediately
• As questions instead of stating your opinion or experience
• Really listen when others are talking instead of thinking of your response while they are still speaking (guilty!).
• Avoid cutting in as soon as there is silence. Let the silence be
• Avoid interrupting when someone else is speaking (guilty, guilty, guilty!!).

By being aware while speaking to others, hopefully that is the end of the foot in mouth I tend to experience over and over again. I am especially guilty of this with my spouse and my daughters. I feel like my opinion is necessary or my solution will somehow enlighten them. The truth is that the majority of people are not looking for your opinion or your advice. All they want is your ear. They want you to hear what they are saying without chiming in. If they want your thoughts, they will ask you.

There may be times when we have to say things that others don’t want to hear, but if we share only what is necessary, kind, or helpful and say it in a manner that does not hurt the person you are speaking with, you will avoid the foot in mouth I so often encounter.